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Sermonette: A World of Regret
#1871s
Joseph B. Baity
Given 18-Apr-26; 17 minutes
2026-04-18
summary: When we experience the emotion of regret, we can either experience it in a way that builds character towards a godly ideal or in a worldly way that burdens us down and traps us in unhelpful rumination not bearing any positive fruits. We see the two contrasts between the Corinthian church in II Corinthians 7 and Judas in Matthew 27. The Corinthian church, after tolerating sin for too long, changed with the tool of regret towards Godly character with "zeal," "diligence," and clarity. Judas wallowed in his sorrow leading to even more sin. Regret is different from regular sorrow in the greater knowledge that we could have had a better consequence or outcome. It involves a greater portion of the brain, involving parts such as orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) and anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) involving visual memory, comparisons, and feedback mechanisms. If we have worldly sorrow, we stay lost in it, unable to move on, and we becomes full of self-pity making us no good to do godly actions. In a godly method, we can use sorrow to move forward and become better representatives of His will and use positive feedback to improve and show character growth year after year. One should call upon God after a regret and ask for the strength for the repentance with the accompanying proper action and attitude adjustment.
transcript:
I'm approaching my 70th birthday. Anticipating that day has inspired me to look back to the days of my youth, wondering what I might say to my 18 year old self or for that matter, my 25, 30, or even my 40 or 50-year-old self, were I able to meet up with him or them. And now the Passover season has just passed and along with its emphasis upon self-examination and self-reflection, and I found myself contemplating my past as much as I did during the initial months of my calling where God revealed and exposed my past as I had never before experienced. And amidst all this current self reflection, I found myself focusing not so much on my accomplishments or my successes, but instead on my regrets, those troubling emotions that are made worse because they are self-inflicted. Now, we've all lived lives that are likely mixed bags with a few noteworthy accomplishments and successes scattered amongst a likely larger number of mistakes, both big and small. We are still carnal after all. And as much as we like to define ourselves by our accomplishments and our successes, we must realize that we are products also of our self-inflicted mistakes in the manner with which we handled the regrets that followed. Let's start start with turning to II Corinthians for our first scripture today. II Corinthians chapter 7, I'll be reading verses 8 through 11. This is obviously the apostle Paul speaking here. For even if I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it, though I did regret it, for I perceive that the same epistle made you sorry, though only for a while. Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance, for you were made sorry in a godly manner that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing that you sorrowed in a godly manner. What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication. In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this manner. Now I'm sure you recognize this is a portion of the apostle Paul's follow-up letter to the Corinthians complimenting them on their repentant attitude after chastising them in the first in First Corinthians for their perplexing and wrong-minded tolerance for sin within their congregation. Now he contrasts worldly sorrow here, which leads to death with godly sorrow, which leads to genuine repentance. And speaking of worldly sorrow, let's now turn to Matthew chapter 27. Matthew 27 will be reading from verses 3 through 5. Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing that he had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the 30 pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, I have sinned by betraying innocent blood. And they said, what is that to us? You see to it. Then he threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed. And went and hanged himself. And while Judas, no doubt. Felt deep emotional regret, remorse, guilt, and shame for his actions of betrayal. His was a perfect example of worldly sorrow, and thus he was unable to use these emotions to advance to the state of repentance. And sadly this inevitably produced more sin, one final sin, his suicide. And what I want to show today is that regret, remorse, guilt, and shame are all very useful emotions, useful tools to aid us in our walk, to help us recognize the need for corrective measures when we fall off the path that God has chosen for each of us. But only if we acknowledge them properly and handle them with care, for just like any tool like a hammer or a saw can be helpful if not used thoughtfully and properly, these tools also possess the potential for great damage. Therefore, we must be mindful that these tools are just emotions, strong emotions indeed, but as helpful as they can be, they often only steer our focus to the consequences of our sins rather than the sin itself, and thus are not an end unto themselves. So we must not confuse them with repentance, nor should we allow them to overwhelm us when we have sinned such that we are unable to move forward, doubting God's ability or desire to forgive. Emotion does not equal repentance, repentance will likely be emotional, but we must learn to discern the difference between worldly sorrow, worldly regret, and godly sorrow or godly regret. And in the spirit of Haggai 15, where the Lord tells us to consider our ways, I'd like to dive a little deeper now into the emotional aspects of regret and from a neurological perspective. I found an informative article on Sciencenewstoday.org entitled The Neuroscience of Regret, Why It Haunts Us, written by a Mohammed Tuin and published in June of 2025. And with your indulgence, I'll like to read a few excerpts which I believe are insightful and can be helpful here. Quote. Before diving into the brain's architecture, it's crucial to understand that regret is not just sadness in disguise, it's a distinct emotion with its own signature triggers and consequences. Sadness is what we feel when something bad happens. Regret is what we feel when we believe something bad happened because of our own choices, our self-inflicted pain. Regret is tied to agency or what we would refer to as free agency from God. The sense that we had control. And we failed. It is tinged with what if and if only. It is not just about loss. It's about the belief that the loss could have been avoided. So in this way, regret is one of the most cognitive emotions we experience. It involves memory, imagination, causality, and self-awareness. You need not only recognize what happened, but also imagine an alternate version of reality where you acted differently and got a better outcome. This mental simulation, the brain's heartbreaking habit of rerunning the past while editing your actions, is the very engine of regret, unquote. See, brethren, it's just how we are wired by our Creator. Since the beginning of time, mankind has been fascinated by and even obsessed with the emotions associated with regret. How many books, poems, songs, movies, and how many scriptures have dealt with feelings of regret of wishing one hadn't done something or hadn't said something that was foolish or hurtful or sinful or wishing that we had done or said something that was needful or good. Of wishing that one could travel back in time to make it right. You just listened to a portion of one of the most famous pop songs ever written, yesterday by the Beatles, written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they are here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be. There is a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday came suddenly. And why she had to go, I do not know, she wouldn't say. I said something wrong. Now I long for yesterday. Now there is a good reason that that song resonated well, so well with so many. I suspect that most of us have indeed wished we could turn back time to repair a regrettable decision or a misdeed. But back to the article, The Neuroscience of regret and why it haunts us again, quote. Your brain is a master storyteller. It doesn't just record reality, it edits, reshapes, and replays it, and nowhere is that more evident than in the neural architecture of regret. At the center of this process is the orbitofrontal cortex. We'll just call it the OFC. A region just above the eyes that is deeply involved in decision making and evaluation. The OFC helps the brain weigh choices, predict outcomes, and compare actual results with imagined ones. When you experience regret, the OFC doesn't just analyze what happened, it actively constructs what could have happened. It imagines the alternate path and then evaluates the emotional consequences of not taking it. There is a lot going on in our minds. Now this comparison between reality and potential reality is the spark that ignites regret. Now of course regret is not purely logical. It carries a heavy emotional load guilt, disappointment, shame, longing. These emotional tones are orchestrated by a small almond-shaped structure deep in the brain, the amygdala. The amygdala is the brain's emotional sentinel. It responds to threats, pain, and emotionally charged memories. In the case of regret, it works closely with the OFC to tag certain memories with emotional intensity. This collaboration between the OFC and the amygdala creates the vivid haunting quality of regret. The brain doesn't just think about a better outcome, it feels it deeply. It's not imagination, it's visceral. That's why regret lingers in your gut, in your chest, or in the pit of your soul. But the story doesn't end with emotion. Regret also has a purpose. It's part of your brain's feedback loop. It's there to teach you. This is why some regret can be adaptive. It helps us improve future decisions, it sharpens judgment, it motivates change. But when regret becomes chronic, when we replay the same scene over and over, unable to move forward, the learning loop breaks, and instead of learning, we become stuck in a feedback spiral that feeds shame and rumination. Unquote. Now as an aside, I love the word rumination. Richard and I were just talking about fun words. It pictures a cow cow's habit of regurgitating food from its first stomach to chew again and again. It's good for the cow, good for our beef, but bad for resolving old regrets. Now, back to the article one more time. Quote, One of the most difficult things about regret is that it sits at the intersection of acceptance and yearning. The brain wants to learn and move forward, but it also wants to revisit and rewrite, and this creates a mental tug of war. And now the anterior cingulate cortex, another fun word, we will just call it the ACC is a brain region involved in conflict monitoring. It becomes active when we detect contradictions or emotional tension. And in cases of regret, the ACC can fire when you revisit a choice you can't change but still wish you could. The conflict between what you want and what is triggers stress. And that stress can manifest as restlessness, anxiety, insomnia, or even physical discomfort, and over time chronic regret can change brain chemistry. It can lower serotonin levels, heightening depression. It may alter the connectivity between emotional and rational regions, making it harder to regulate negative feelings. In this way, regret can become self-sustaining. The more you regret, the more sensitized your brain becomes to regret. It's not just psychological, it's neurological, it's the way we are wired. But like any tool, it can be misused, left unchecked, it can imprison the mind in the past, preventing us from living in the present. Unquote So, some may see regret as little more than just another psychological prison. Preventing us from enjoying our lives, unburdened by the triple yokes of remorse, guilt, and shame. I see it as a gift from our creator. Now there is nothing pleasant about the pain of regret and the recognition of a self-inflicted wound. But I believe when we humbly turn to God for help, he does strengthen us through the process, elevating it above and beyond a mere emotional experience and facilitating our need to see our true selves while keeping us upright, balanced, and able to discover the proper perspective which keeps us from glossing too casually over certain sins or wallowing so deeply in guilt and shame over others. That we risk losing ourselves and with that, our hope, opening ourselves up further to Satan's desire to sift and exploit and to convince us that we are beyond God's forgiveness. Instead, our pain, our regret, it gives us pause, enables us to learn, and more importantly to move forward instead of yearning for yesterday, so that the next time a similar situation confronts us, we know that as surely as God is our refuge and our strength in straits of present aid. So we can have the faith, the knowledge, the memory to help us develop the character and find the motivation to make a more righteous decision to take action that leads to genuine repentance, an advantage that the world doesn't have as we watch mankind slip and stumble over sin over and over and over again. So in conclusion, I'd like to read from a couple of the Psalms of David. In Psalm 38:45 and 8, he displayed enormous anxiety. Enormous regret. Psalm 38:4 and I'll be reading this from the NIV. My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sin, my sinful folly. Verse 8, I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. But in Psalm 37 verses 23 and 24, David's anxious regrets have turned to great hopes, hopes reflected in these words. The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him, and though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. So with God's help, David's regrets produced godly sorrow which led to his repentance and ultimately his salvation, something. Not to be regretted.
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